As I began working on this website, I had to consider what love meant to me and how it is that I want to love and be loved. A thought came to me last night saying that love is a choice. I've heard many times from people who are in love that, we have to choose to cultivate and nourish it. We have to work at it every day and allow it to grow. Sort of like watering a plant. We do that by choosing to do unto others what we want done unto ourselves. It's choosing everyday to work for understanding and moving past disagreements, and selfishness. In order to love, we must 1) love ourselves and forgive ourselves 2) love one another as we want to be loved. Selfishness, insecurities, and fears often get in the way of what is good for us. I can attest to that right now as I struggle with strengthening my self love. I reason that, in order to love myself wholesomely, I have to take care of myself and I have had a hard time doing that with my eating habits and lack of exercise. I'll definitely explore this further in a self love post in the future.

Lauryn Hill's song, Tell Him always reminds me of love in which she says

"Let me be patient, let me be kind
Make me unselfish, without being blind
Though I may suffer, I'll envy it not
And endure what comes,
Cause he's all that I got and
Tell him..."

Which is undoubtedly inspired by

1 Corinthians 13:4-8New International Version (NIV)

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

As I consider the relationships I've had with family, friends significant others, I can say that my idea of love has evolved. Many of us, including myself "love" with conditions and then there's those that despite what they do, we love them regardless. I've gotten to know love, healthy love, mostly through my relationship with God and my relationship with my friends. My friends have challenged me to be a better person morally, physically, EMOTIONALLY, and so much more. My relationship with God has forced me to be forgiving towards something and someone I thought I'd never forgive. Disagreements are uncomfortable. Emotions sometimes make us say and do things we wouldn't normally do. When you began to grow with someone, you may hurt each other, purposely or not, but because you chose this person, you tend to do things differently. Instead of saying hurtful things that you know you don't mean, you walk away and give yourself space. Because you know this person is sensitive to certain words or about a certain subject, you avoid it or you find a way that speaks to them without hurting their ego. I plan to go more in depth about this topic in future post but this is what I've got thus far lol.

Disclaimer: I am no expert. I am just writing from my experience as a hopeless romantic, using evidence from premature research and from my knowledge of love songs from the 60's and 90's lol. Please share your views below!