What emotions and thoughts went through your mind when you found out you would be a father for the first time? The second time?

When I first found out that I was becoming a father, there was honestly no joy at all. I was 16 years old and although I've always liked the thought of being a father, this was too soon and unexpected. I actually left the scene when my son's mother informed me of the news. That was my initial response. Call it childish but hey, I was clearly still a child myself. After discussing the situation and having a clear understanding of what was happening moving forward, I couldn't wait to welcome my little man. I never felt like having a child was something that I wasn't ready for, just wished that it could have been at a later time in my life.

Hearing the news about my second son was no different. My woman and I, at that time, were still in our early stages of dating. This was such a complex. I've already been through the process, so what was to come wasn't a shock or surprise. I felt that I was a lot more prepared for the mental and emotional aspect of raising a child. On the other end, I was worried about the finances. This would be taking care of another child, on top of bills that I was already handling, and helping my mother and family out with some struggles that we were all trying to get over, and much more.

Has the stereotype of black fathers and black families affected you? (In a sense have you felt any pressure, positivity, etc?) If so, how?

For the most part it hasn't. Through meeting different people and hearing stories of what others go through, those stereotypes aren't only things that occur in the black community. I do feel a slight sense of pressure at times. It's like, if I fail at being a "good father" although that definition varies, I kind of did what was expected of me just because of the heavy stereotypes. I guess I've already fed into one of them by having two different mothers for my children. Things happen though. Plenty of people go through that. I wasn't the first, I won't be the last, and that's not only something that happens to black men. While I answer this question someone out there is more than likely getting into this same predicament.

How did the people around you respond?
People around me were overall excited. Although bringing a child/children into existence has its hardships, they're a blessing when it comes down to it. Every time I would think of the upcoming struggles, someone would remind me of that. The support that I've received from close friends and family is a major reason that I can stay level headed. Of course they've expressed their concerns and worries but that's normal. Parenting isn't something to take lightly and I'm glad that even through the support, not one person tried to make it seem as if it is.

How has your children impacted your life?

They’ve definitely made me mature to levels that would have taken a bit longer for me to reach. Seeing the value of doing without some of your wants and desires so that they may have more. Even besides the children, that mindsets can just take you so far. Money wise and just for internal growth. I've also noticed the importance of appearance and more importantly how you conduct your behavior on a day to day basis. As a man having boys to raise into men, when they look in the mirror they see themselves, but it's also a reflection of you that they see in themselves. You're their first major role model. You have to remain as appropriate as possible for the benefit of them.

What are some challenges you've faced being a teenage dad?

I don't really think there's a thing as teenage father challenges, just father challenges. Things like hanging out with friends as much as you once were, having certain days/nights to yourself, and spending money freely, etc. aren't exactly challenges. They're things that don't happen as often anymore because that just comes with the territory of being a parent. Well, at least if you're striving to be involved. Restless nights, long mornings, and financial struggles happen to teenage parents and adult parents alike. The only challenge I believe there is being a teenage father is finishing school. Fortunately, I didn't have an issue with that because of two supportive families. Both my first son's mother’s family and mine were more than willing to assist us and I'm forever thankful for that.

If you were to leave this world today what three things would you be sure that you taught your children about being a man?
Three things about being a man is difficult. There's always so much you can say to that question. If I'm limited to three I would say:

- Respect everyone, especially women.

- Be firm, assertive, and always stand on your own two feet. You may hit hard times but don't try to rely on others for too much.

- Don't ever feel that as a man that's holding it down, that you know it all. Don't be afraid to seek advice and guidance from others.

If your children could describe you as a person, what do you think they will say?

Adriel, my first born son, would probably say that I'm funny and loving but also very serious. Isaiah, my second born, would say something along the lines of "Daddy, amor, pow pow, and cookies." Sounds about right.

How has your relationship with your father impacted the decisions you've made?
8. It has had a huge impact. My father wasn't around or active for most of my life so far. He didn't give much help to my mother, if any, when he wasn't physically near me. For the brief time that he was doing his job as a man and father, we actually developed a strong relationship. Shared countless laughs and good conversation. When I think back to those times, it's not what he didn't do that makes me say I don't want to be this way or that way when it comes to my children. It's those good memories that showed me the importance of a steady father figure in a young man's life. Those times are how I'd like it to be with my little guys.

What legacy do you hope to leave behind for your children??

I hope to leave behind a legacy that gives them everything that they need for survival and happiness. Enough to live comfortably and they're able to get most things that they desire. Just not everything because you learn a lot about life and yourself from going through some tough endeavors and having to actually put in work for things that you'd like. When my time comes, whatever I do leave behind for them, I just hope that they're proud of me for my efforts.

What advice do you have for young fathers?

Just simply try your hardest to be all that you can be for your children. That comes above all. Whomever you decide to parent with, try your best to make things work out. For both of you and your offspring. There's a lot of benefits from keeping everything under one roof. If it happens to not work out, that's alright. Keeping a healthy relationship between you and the mother is the next step. Even if that doesn't work out, it's alright. Remember what comes above all. Definitely, definitely, definitely talk to your sensible and wise elders that have been through this before. Especially when you encounter some hard times. Something that helped me as well is remembering that growing up most of us didn't have much. Don't think that because you can't give your child everything that they want and deserve that you're doing a bad job. You're doing what you can. And when you can, you do more.

If your children were to be teenage fathers, what would be your reaction?

I'd be more than happy for them. It's not exactly something that I'd want for them because it definitely puts an end to, or at least slows down some of the plans that you may have as a teenager thinking into your future. But I'd be more than excited. You're full of life in your younger years. You have a lot more energy to be active with your children. Since life most likely hasn't hit you with too many curveballs yet, even though you may think it has, you have a lot more time to put into your kids and build a steady relationship from the baby stages, which are some of the most important years of our lives. There are a lot of pros to being a young parent. Most of us just tend to pay more mind to the cons.

What has your children taught you about yourself? And the world around you?
I'd say the main thing that they taught me is to show more appreciation for the simpler things in life. When I'm hanging out with them, it only takes some attention, food, and a favorite toy or two, or a good show for them to have a day that they'll remember. It doesn't take much to see them happy. That also plays into what they've taught me about the world. How cruel and corrupted the world we're living in can be. I'm not being a pessimist about life but its reality. I look at them, or any child just as all of you can, and see how innocent and pristine they are. That was us at one point. Look at a lot of us now.

What are some things you had to overcome within yourself to be the father you are today?

I don't feel as though there was much I had to overcome when I was younger and had much less responsibilities. The traits that I believe are necessary for good parenting I already possessed. It's more of the present day that makes me have to overcome certain things. With a ton load more of responsibilities and obligations, balance has become a bit difficult. Between work, a growing relationship, and family affairs, having two children in different homes with different lifestyles, and when life just decides to shadiddle you with unexpected random predicaments, and you're trying to keep composed through it all. It became a bit of a challenge. I feel like a whirlwind at times. Things are slowly but surely coming together though.

What does it take to be a father?

Patience, patience, patience. Just as much as they're adorable and humorous, they can be nerve working. Other than that, I'd say an open mind, an attentive one, and a craving to learn. Everything that you like, your child/children may not be drawn too. Plenty of parents force their dreams, wants, and aspirations onto their child. To each their own, but I wouldn't force anything but knowledge onto mine. That's where I say the open mindedness comes from. They may force you out of your comfort zone a bit to adapt to things that catch their interest. Their also in a constant rhythm of learning and applying so you have to be as well. Those and a few tacit ones.

Lada: I met Brandon in high school. I always joked that he was sort of like the guy version of myself. Since high school, we've held each other accountable, died from laughter, and always have kept it real with each other. I’m always appreciative of his humor, sensibility, drive and open mindedness about life and when it came to the love a parent has for their child, he was one of the first people that came to mind. Thanks for sharing bro!