So, tomorrow makes a whole week that I graduated. People keep asking me how I feel lol. I guess it hasn't hit me yet. Since then, I've been sleeping, Hulu'ing, flexing on the net and resting up. It's weird lol, Ive been in go mode for the last 20 years in regards to being a student and working for the last 10 so.... I'm long overdue for a nap. Before the graduation, people kept asking me if I was excited and I couldn't honestly say that I was. While I was happy that things were finally coming to an end, I was sad that none of my immediate family members hadnt made it their business to come to my graduation. I even struggled about reflecting on this or addressing it to said family members but its my reality so here goes.

I have an amazing village. Absolutely amazing. Terrific. Ive been blessed with some dope people in my life that have become family. In all honesty, many in my village would come before many of my biological family members and that's facts, no printer but I could print that out if need be.

Now, though I have an amazing village, IDC how old you are, you still want the support of your family, especially your parents and siblings. The fact that not one had made it their absolute business to be there really hurt. I have a parent that have never been to any of my graduations. There's people that, it wouldn't matter where I was located in this world, how much or little resources I had, I would make sure I was there or I would try my damnest. If I'm in china and their bday is coming soon, I'm googling how long its going to take me to row or walk there. I would make sure they knew how important they were to me, even if I couldnt make it. Though this is not a new occurrence with my family, it always stings when it comes to situations similar to this. And you know what, I had to decide that there's nothing wrong with calling it out, reflecting on it, healing from that hurt, etc. So often, we dismiss our negative feelings towards our family members off the strength of them being blood or family. Standards of respect, consideration, health, happiness, etc. that we'd usually impose upon others go ignored because we are taught that you have to accept family, no matter the circumstances. NAH SON. There's many of us holding on to hurt from years ago, many of us feeling alienated at family gatherings, demeaned by older family members, feeling guilt because we didn't want to come to someones bday and felt obligated to do thingsthat make us uncomfortable, that makes us angry, hurt us deeply. And still, off strength that their family, we will put ourselves through the fire to maintain some faux, strained connection. I SAW NAH SON! I know a dope social worker that always encourages folks to: "Unpack your sh*t". Here's a few tips I have for doing just that. Identify that hurt, shame, embarrassment, anger, etc. If its safe with no means of physical threat, try and address that which hurts you the most. Hold yourself and others accountable. And at the end of the day, you cant ultimately change folks. Despite all of that, folks will be just who they are and that's on them. Growth is not a guarantee and you have to decide to move forward despite them acknowledging unpackingtheir sh*t. Upholding toxic relationships, customs, etc. off the strength of family is not okay. Suffering in silence is not okay. Not holding folks accountable is not okay. Compromising your mental, emotional and physical health is not okay.

NOW!.

That almost stopped my celebration. But my village didn't allow that to happen, as they never do. SHOUT OUT TO DINIQUA, ANDREYA, DEBORAH, BRYANT, K.C., GLORIA, MORIAH, MATRESA, ASIANA, ARLENE and CASSONDRA. I've meet these folks through my education, from elementary all the way up to grad school and they've been rolling with a G since. Some took off work, some traveled from other states, some came after the graduation but all were just grateful to celebrate with me. Some had tickets and some waltzed right up in the spot like "who gon' check me boo?" because they wasn't going to miss me walking for nothing and I appreciate that from the bottom, top, edges and midsection of my heart.

Let me tell y'all bout my village. Let me tell y'all about true finessin'.

Nini caught ebola to be there. Dreya dyed my hair and turned her fingertips red, temporarily. Deb took off work and got there just in the nick of time like she always does. Bryant drove from outta state to witness the greatness. K.C. took 7 hours to and from to come through for a G. Gloria drove from out of state right after work like a boss. Tresa came through to the dinner with the dopest, cutest note. Moriah was the one who was like who gon' check me boo, right after work and went right to work, afterwards. Asiana left a graduation and drove to the after dinner and dead hung out til 2 o'lock in the mornting eating ice cream with us. Arlene had a whole brother who graduated. A whole brother. She departed from fam' to congratulate me. Lil ol' grandma Mabes. Cassondra appeared like "I'm in town and wanna come through, wassup?" which was a pleasant surprise.

And I have so many other amazing folks that make up my village, near and far like my Le Moyne community, folks from renaissance, folks back home, folks I met randomly and folks Ive known for a long time... IM BLESSED.To anyone who has ever been pat of my village and welcomed me into theirs, THANK YOU!

And shout out to the SOCIAL WELFARE PROGRAM FOR LITERALLY BE THE LITTEST, LIVEST, DOPEST SCHOOL AT GRADUATION!! Shout out to the folks in the program who got me through internship, who helped me get over, frolicked with me in the park to stabilize our mental health, who supported me at events, who gave me constructive criticism, who held me accountable, who made me laugh, who allowed me to awkwardly cry in front of them, who literally helped me survive this crazy ordeal. Y'all are so real.

I say all that to say that my though all my trials and tribulations, there was always someone there supporting a G. I can recall at every point in my life, I was always blessed with someone to carry me a long. I may not have had all of who I wanted there but I've had all of who I needed there. I've been blessed with cheer leaders, body guards, sisters, mothers, teachers, social workers, psychologist, accountants when need be and so much more.

Shout out to my village who supports me, calls me out on my ish, mirrors my passion and motivates me when I'm not feeling the best... y'all are everything and I am appreciative.

Thank you. Thank God, for ALWAYS, ALL WAYS, looking out for a G.