So I realize that a lot of folks shorten their names for the comfort and sake of others, especially when it comes to our names being said out loud. In Starbucks, in classrooms, in work places, damn near everywhere. For people of color concerned that our names are ghetto, too long, uncommon, unique, embarrassing, this definitely fits. I realized that I started shortening my name due to the “labor” of having to tell people how to pronounce and feeling embarrassment or anger when they got it wrong. I was lax on telling people how to address me. It was reflective of me not feeling like I wasn’t deserving of full recognition. It was indicative of me shrinking myself for others.

A few weeks ago, I had a funny, yet, serious conversation with my friends about the origins of our names and some admitted that they didn’t like their names due to it being “ghetto”. I realized we shorten our name to fit the standards of white supremacy, ultimately. There has been a trend of more common names with shorter syllables since the 2000’s among black folks. When asked, many people state that they want their children to have a chance at getting jobs, better opportunities and state they don’t want their children to have ghetto names. Ghetto according to whose standards? To get what jobs? to have better opportunities according to and in comparison to what? to appease who?

This isnt something that is our responsibility but more so, “greater America”. Greater America needs to fix itself if it is scared of a couple of extra syllables, if it is scared of our greatness and what we can bring to the table. I implore greater America to look at itself and do better. Our names arent indicative of our talent,abilities or it just might be and you’re missing out.

I started realizing that this whole “name” thing when I realized I was pronouncing a dear friend’s name wrong. I wondered why he didn’t correct any of us and how he allowed us to call him this for years. I valued this person and I wanted to make sure I addressed him correctly. I asked him what was the proper way to pronounce his name and made it my business to do so

To my people’s,

AIN’T NOTHING WRONG WITH YOUR NAME!

Your name is yours (though ironically, you’re least likely to use it). Your name sets the standard on how to address you. You are wonderfully made and your name is divine, no matter if its common, unique or the first of its name.

I started realizing that I shortened my name for the comfort of others. I started shortening my name as not to cause a stir. I started shortening my name as a way to be more common. There is nothing “common” about me. My presence and my name is a beautiful and I will make sure it is said as correctly as possible. In considering the title of this, I think of the #sayhername movement. I immediately thought of Sandra Bland, who was murdered while in the custody of police in Waller City Texas. I think of how it is important to say her name as to never forget, as to acknowledge her as one of our ancestors, as to honor her and her life.

Sandra Bland.

And of course the amazing Korryn Gaines who was killed in her home by police. Her son was shot as well but survived.

Korynn Gaines

Korryn Gaines.

Make it your business to share your name. Take pride in it. It is part of your identity. Don’t be lax on people who mispronounces your name. This doesn’t mean you have to be mean or rude to the person but there is nothing wrong with reiterating your name. Its about respect. It’s about honor. It’s about autonomy and person hood. Its about empowerment. Lets teach our kids to not be ashamed of their names either. Make it your business to pronounce the names of your friends, first and last! Roll your tongue if you have to. Include the accent. Say a couple extra syllables and burn some calories, aint nothing wrong with it.

Make it your business to address folks with the names they prefer to be called, especially our trans family <3. So much violence falls on them just for existing outside of societal bounds and one of the ways we beat them down is by not respecting their autonomy and their right to say their name and live in what they deem fit and true. Say their names.

Teach the babies to take pride in their names. We have so many children walking around ashamed of their names, essentially ashamed of who they are before they even reach the full of extent of who they are. These children then become adults who are ashamed of an essential part of them. Say their names. <3