1) What is your experience with mental Illness?

Well, some people may think that children do not get stressed or depressed. That's not true. Since birth, I have been raised by my grandmother. My mother had me at 16 & my dad was about 18 so they were too young to care for me. Growing up I had everything I needed as far as food on the table, clothes on my back, a clean home. However, I always felt that something was missing. I was always sad and crying as a child. Especially at night. Mother’s day, father's day and holidays were very tough for me, as you can imagine the reason why! Me and my mom had a relationship but it wasn't a mother and daughter relationship. That's for sure. But I guess any relationship was better than none. I would cry sometimes in the school bathroom because I would see kids being dropped off by their mom's and although I APPRECIATE AND LOVE my grandmother, I still felt like something was missing. Me and my dad's relationship got better once he got on his feet. As a teenager I wasn't really allowed to go out anywhere because my mom getting pregnant at 15 scarred my grandmother and she was scared of the cycle repeating itself. All of these childhood emotions were building up in my head without being expressed and on March 15, 2009, my mom passed away due to complications from lupus. We all knew she was sick but had No idea she was that sick. That was the first time I've ever lost someone close to me and I still can't even describe the pain. I was 16 when she passed. She missed out on a lot times I needed her but I still missed her. I didn't know what to feel. How do I miss someone who was never really there? Then I felt guilty because I did bad mouth her when I was hurt from her absence.. And the way I missed her, I didn't want my grandmother to think I didn't appreciate her. I was still very in denial and I did not seek psychological help after which I deeply regret. I think that's the biggest mistake most of us make. We think we'll get over it on our own. Growing up I went through all of these emotions alone and I suffered immensely! Why? Because I didn't speak about it.

2) What stigmas have you encountered in relation to mental health?

Oh boy.. So many stereotypes. Especially in my community. I was born and raised in the Bronx in a Hispanic household and very ethnic neighborhood. In my house, my grandmother didn't really believe in seeing a therapist or a psychiatrist. I think it's because of how she was raised. This all goes back to our grandparents and great grandparents. Growing up, if I would tell my grandmother that I was really sad and I would be in tears, she'd say "go clean or something, it'll go away". Or she would say if I go to a therapist or psychiatrist, they're going to "put me away somewhere or place me in a mental institution". I used to believe her which is why I kept everything to myself. I don't think she realized the damage she caused but I also don't think she did it on purpose. Again, it goes back to our grandparents and great grandparents. That was the stigma I had to hear and experience at home. Imagine from friends, family and strangers. I've heard all types of ignorance. "If you see a therapist, you're crazy" - "if you take pills, you're psycho" - "therapy is for weak minded people".

Who has helped you through difficult times? Who has supported you through the happy times?

I could honestly say the father of my 2 children. It took him a very long time to understand what I was feeling but he never LEFT. Most men aren't MAN ENOUGH to deal with a broken woman who suffers from a mental illness, who isn't motivated, who doesn't want to get out of the bed on certain days, who cries for everything. And of course my therapist and psychiatrist who I've been seeing for 3 years! It's very hard to open up to strangers but then realized that they were there to help me and not judge!

3) What are some difficulties people face from their friends and family while seeking mental health services?

If you are a person who is mentally ill, not having a good support system can break you! Sometimes our friends and family are just too busy with their own lives and their own issues and we have to accept that. I used to feel that I wasn't good enough or my problem wasn't serious enough for some people in my life to be there for me, but some people really couldn't or didn't have time. & friends don't last forever and that's just facts. I have about 3 friends I've had for YEARSSSS and they've been supportive even with their own issues.. However, friends like that don't come around often. If you don't have a support system then you make one. The sad reality is, sometimes your support systems are your doctors. They offer group therapy and maybe you can befriend someone who is going through something similar to you.

4) Has having children effected your outlook on mental health?

Absolutely. I had my first child at 19 years old. When I was pregnant, I was warned that because of my depression and anxiety I grew up with, I might have a chance of having post-partum depression. The word that stood out to me was "depression". I said to myself "oh please I've dealt with depression for most of my life.. This isn't going to do anything worst to me".. Boy was I wrong..

5) A lot of people assume Motherhood is a happy, wondrous experience filled with love and excitement. However, that is not always true. There are more than 3 million reported cases of Post-Partum depression a year. What was your experience with Post-Partum depression? How did the people around you react?

When my daughter was born, I didn't have that "love at first site" feeling that you hear about or see on television. I felt very detached. I was happy that I finally got to see the life that was hiding in my belly for 9 months but I didn't feel my happiest. The nurses were very helpful being that I was a young first time mother. Once I got home and walked through my door, I instantly felt like my heart sank to my stomach. I had family waiting for us to come from the hospital and it was a surprise. I was very overwhelmed. I locked myself in my room and refused to come out. I told my aunt and my kids father that Idk what's wrong with me but I'm very scared and sad and I don't want to come out of my room.. For the first few weeks of her life I was still feeling detached, smothered, scared.. When she would cry, I would cry. I didn't want to hold her and I didn't want anyone else coming over or holding her. I couldn't eat or drink anything, I lost a lot of weight and hair.. I never got help because again growing up I was always told that if you go seek mental health, you'll be "put away somewhere". & to top it off, I would hear these stories about women killing their newborns and having hallucinations and I was scared that if I reported what I was feeling, they would take my baby away from me and put me away. Once she was about 3 months, the symptoms got milder.. I didn't seek help until she was 9 months. Yes, I waited 9 months to see someone. They reassured me that they would never take her away from me unless I felt like harming her or myself. They would have treated me with meds, which I was also scared of. I thought medication would change me or my way of thinking.. or possibly make me "crazy". Not true at all.

6) Our mental health does affect how we treat ourselves. Do you practice self-love and if so, how do you?

I try my best to show myself self-love but it's very hard. Especially when you have an illness and insecurities. I have my days where I get all dressed up, and feel beautiful. Then other days I feel like it's no use and I feel terrible about myself. It's a process and I'm only 24.

7) Why do you advocate for mental health services?

I advocate for it strongly because I know what it's like to feel lost, alone, confused, in the dark, unmotivated, scared, all at once! I want to let people know that they are NOT alone and if they've been told things like "therapy and meds are for crazy people". I'm here to say THAT IS NOT TRUE. I would worry more about people who've never been to a session once in their life. We are in crazy times in this world, so if a person says they've never been stressed in their lives, they're lying. I'm just regular Genesis from the Bronx, I'm not famous nor am I rich but all I can do is try my best to help those who need someone to talk to or guidance. I have had a few people reach out to me and ask me about their symptoms and it is not a bother AT ALL. It makes me feel good to help others with either questions or while they're in a crisis.

8) What are your top 5 songs that you turn up to when you're feeling yourself?

LOL. "..Cash money taking over for the '99" haha.

1. All the way Up
2. Bruno Mars - 24k magic
3. A boogie - this is my sh**
4. Twenty one pilots - ride
5. Rihanna - consideration

9) What advice do you have for people:

Who struggle with mental health issues?

My advice for people who suspect they have an illness, if you have to question it then you've answered your own question.. even if you might not have a history of depression and you're just going through something in life that is stressing you out such as a divorce or loss, go to a few sessions to help you get through it. They're so many workshops and tools out there but they won't come to you if you don't speak. And don't be prideful!

Who know people who struggle with mental health issues??

To those who suspect their family member or friend is suffering with mental illness, urge them to seek help and reassure them that they're not alone and can always count on you! Do not judge them or make them feel like they are being dramatic or doing it to themselves. Mental illness is usually stemmed from a chemical imbalance so it is really not their fault. If they are having a violent episode or you think they're in danger of hurting themselves or others, please call someone. Don't worry about them being upset with you because once they feel better they'll forgive you, hopefully.

For Drs., Therapist, Social Workers who work with people with mental health issues?

One thing I would advise the medical/psychological field to work on is helping with child care during appointments/visits. A lot of times, I've had appointments and had no babysitter so I had to reschedule. Other than that I don't really have advice for them.

- sidebar, I was diagnosed with anxiety and panic disorder at 17 after a bad experience with weed. Depression at 19. I stopped going to therapy and stopped my meds for a while because I felt better. That's one of the biggest mistakes you can make. Because the symptoms can come back and come back stronger! I went back at 22 after a major depressive episode, I've been in therapy and taking meds ever since. That is a process in itself. It takes a while to find the right medications that work for you. After 2 years of being on a certain medication at its highest dose and not seeing results, I was diagnosed with bipolar depression. They switched my medication and I've seen huge improvement! I still have my ups and downs & I'm a rollercoaster, but I'm much better and will continue to get better as long as I am on top of my mental health. Just like a diabetic needs their insulin, mental illness needs to be treated as well!

- I hope I helped someone with this!

Lada: Genesis and I attended the same elementary school and were pretty cool. We reconnected on Facebook and I've been so inspired about how transparent she is about mental illness and some of the difficulties she has faced in her lifetime. I believe it is important for people, especially people of color, to see success from people who look like and have gone through similar experiences. Healing is possible and Genesis's story is a record of that. Thank you so much Genesis, this was so powerful and you are appreciated.